I'm not making this up

[ALASKA54]

If you don't believe me, here it is in black and white.


http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,427365,00.html

[Edm]

Thats pretty damn funny. That same thing happened to Boneman once.

Fox news(not liberal media) full of lies, lies lies......

[ovalracer44]

I heard about this on the news today. Assault and battery for ripping one. Man the dairy queen could have me arrested then, everytime I eat there its gas city.

[carolwicks]

What A Relief !!!

thank goodness...only men can be jailed....women dont fart !!! roflllllllllll
OZZIE

[ovalracer44]

thank goodness...only men can be jailed....women dont fart !!! roflllllllllll
OZZIE

Thats a lie. There isnt a woman out there that cant put a man to shame with flatulence.

[Edm]

My grandmother was the worst. She would clear the entire room then place blame on someone else.

[ocalasp76]

Help Offerd

If you need some wallpaper removed from a room, let me know.
I can stop at the Taco Bell on the way over and spend 5 minutes in there and the wallpaper will be laying on the floor.
Old or new paper.......it's gone !!.........LOL

Here are pictures of my last project.....they made me go to the other dump station
---JIM---
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[Edm]

That aint no pot of gold

[carolwicks]

about the gas situation...

its so weird...talking about farts can put you into hysterics. recently one of the racers wives called me and we talked and screamed laughing about farts for over an hour... when someone farts out loud we duck, laugh, act all huffy, blame it on the dog... if its REAL bad we blame it on the cat... cat farts are much worse. and you would think it was an accident... ITS NORMAL.... everyone does it (cept women)... how come its so funny?
and im certain God has a sense of humor....(hence the stink).... what was He thinking..."I need to find a way to have some fun"... first i will invent beans... they look innocent enough.......He invented the beans and made sure they were an important part of our diet...healthy... no smell...then what the heck happened on the way out??????? an innocent bean can make 100 people in church very uncomfortable.... and you can count on it! Its hard to hide it too...farting on a wooden bench is like a snowstorm in florida...everyone will know...
OH BTW... you guys better not ever ever bi&%$%& at me for using this racing board to talk about farts! you started it!
OZZIE

[Winger]

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: 'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on ike this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[carolwicks]

Omg!!!!

i just tried reading that to my son over the phone. i could hardly breath when i got to the skunk part... that was sooooooo funny...needed a good laugh. thanks rofllllllllllllllllll told ya farts are funny!
OZZIE

[flraceguy]

Well that reminds me never to do anything stupid when blindfolded upon arriving home...

[georgep]

PLease let us look at this

In the world of the small person, be it a child or a midget the nose height is about the same, correct. Well since lady NEVER FARTS they POOT it is a more civilized term for the ladies.
It is a proven fact that in an elevator the POOT is just as deadly as the fart to a short person.!!

[Benny The Mule]

That aint no pot of gold

They are called "honey pots" by many.....but you never see any bears hanging around them.

Back in my Union days those things were kept squeaky clean.

Cuz if they weren't we set them on FIRE!

[ovalracer44]

Whoo I ate dinner last night a dennys, and could be charged with assault right now.