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The Florida Dirt Racing Coalition has implemented a strict new, two-spin policy across most of Florida's dirt tracks. Yesterday, Colonel Roger Manhandle reported the controversial guidelines will go into effect today, May 5th, for the Late Model, Open Wheeled Modifieds and Street Stock classes.
"It's called our 'Extinction Rule," he reported at a recent Mary Kaye prayer breakfast. "The "two-spins-to-the-back-of-the-track" rule was for whimps. Starting Monday, the first incident causing a yellow flag receives a couple frag grenades tossed within your general proximity. Then, if that doesn't work and you draw another yellow, you get a point-blank blast from an M-80 Howitzer, delivered by one of four Abrams Tanks stationed in each turn."
He went on to say it has been field tested and proven effective.
"We tested it last Saturday with the UDLMCS Late Models at NFS in their featured race," he said. "They had a 27-car count and went 38 laps without a single bump, after we rolled the Abrams out. Prolly woulda went another 50 if one of them hadn't blown a tire. Sure....it wasn't his fault, but we fragged him anyways. Some of our reservists need the practice."
What's being billed as a "safer, kinder race track through intimidation", critics remain unconvinced the new, two-caution flag policy will deter any of the hard-core boys from Putnam County Speedway from swapping paint or "mixin' it up" on occasions.
Disclaimer: No drivers were hurt or even intimidated during Saturday's exercise. The Howitzer was fitted with a special muzzle, converting it into an over-sized squirt gun, and the "frag grenades" were filled with popcorn. It sure was one hell of a race though!! Military precision, organization and damn good driving!
All joking aside, this group of professionals put on one of the best shows in all of racing. If you weren't on the edge of your seat or hopping around like a five-legged tree frog during THIS event, then nothing's gonna get ya goin'....
"It's called our 'Extinction Rule," he reported at a recent Mary Kaye prayer breakfast. "The "two-spins-to-the-back-of-the-track" rule was for whimps. Starting Monday, the first incident causing a yellow flag receives a couple frag grenades tossed within your general proximity. Then, if that doesn't work and you draw another yellow, you get a point-blank blast from an M-80 Howitzer, delivered by one of four Abrams Tanks stationed in each turn."
He went on to say it has been field tested and proven effective.
"We tested it last Saturday with the UDLMCS Late Models at NFS in their featured race," he said. "They had a 27-car count and went 38 laps without a single bump, after we rolled the Abrams out. Prolly woulda went another 50 if one of them hadn't blown a tire. Sure....it wasn't his fault, but we fragged him anyways. Some of our reservists need the practice."
What's being billed as a "safer, kinder race track through intimidation", critics remain unconvinced the new, two-caution flag policy will deter any of the hard-core boys from Putnam County Speedway from swapping paint or "mixin' it up" on occasions.
Disclaimer: No drivers were hurt or even intimidated during Saturday's exercise. The Howitzer was fitted with a special muzzle, converting it into an over-sized squirt gun, and the "frag grenades" were filled with popcorn. It sure was one hell of a race though!! Military precision, organization and damn good driving!
All joking aside, this group of professionals put on one of the best shows in all of racing. If you weren't on the edge of your seat or hopping around like a five-legged tree frog during THIS event, then nothing's gonna get ya goin'....
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