Top 10 rants when it comes to racing

[Edm]

Since not a lot is going on and I am at work I decided to post something that a lot of car owners and drivers can relate too.

1. After a long day of work, looking forward to working on the racecar the wife wants to talk.....................AGAIN.
2. Baby doesn't want to help daddy on the racecar.................again.
3. Finally get the time to work on the racecar and get it all prepped and ready to race and it rains......................again.
4. Spend all season getting the car dialed in starting in the back so you don't hold up the fast cars then the first time all season you start in your spot and the dickhead behind you wrecks you..................again.
5. I don't normally complain about payouts but when you have a slower class running 1/2 the motor you do and 1/2 the tires you do makes more money for the same finishing position. That one is hard to figure out.
6. You finally save up the money to buy A brand new tire (1) and you run over something on the track that flattens it.
7. The announcer F's up your name so bad that your parents think he is talking about a different drive which in my case sometimes is a good thing.
8. You get to the track early and you still have to wait 45 minutes at the pit entrance.
9. After you get belted in and on the track you realize that you have to pee.
10. You rush around all day because you had a very busy week at work and home, race to the track, race to unload the car and sign in just in time to realize you forgot your fire suit.

This is the kind of season that I have had other then the announcer part however that did happen a few years back when that other idiot worked at the track. I am sure there are many more and please feel free to add some but now I feel better.

[Boneman]

Ha ha! Good one Ed, especially #5. I LOVE that fact that mini stocks get paid more than Sportsman! Hahaha!

A few more Boneman rants:

Phone calls from Tunaman; the only guy in the world who still calls collect.

Helping edm shovel the pieces of his car into the trailer....again.

When guys with the big haulers think they deserve two parking spaces, so they put their golf cart in one space while I get to park out in the weeds.

Racing crashes that involve your car and your friend's car.

Drinking some red wine and trying to read ronabneysr.

The way Tunaman keeps trying to get me to join Scientology.

Pushing your car in your pit area, and realizing that it is parked on your own foot.

Modern rulebooks that are still designed around vintage Monte Carlos and Chevelles.

Announcers who don't start the lineup until the field is 1/2 lap from green.

Waitresses who relentlessly hit on Todd McCreary, only to find that he is holding out for a wealthy, mute, nymphomanic supermodel.

[Todd McCreary]

Waitresses who relentlessly hit on Todd McCreary, only to find that he is holding out for a wealthy, mute, nymphomanic supermodel.


you forgot "elderly".

i'm no spring chicken myself, i need her to kick off pretty darn quick so i can inherit.





9. After you get belted in and on the track you realize that you have to pee.


if you wore a two-layer suit you'd sweat all the water out and wouldn't need to worry about things like that.

[ocalasp76]

#9 APPLIES VERY OFTEN.......thank goodness for 2 layer fire suits.

ADD...You do several practice runs and a heat race then go on the track for the feature and realize you forgot to top off the tank. Your legal weight is real close,so that 3 or 4 gallons short could cause a DQ on weight.

Also....Hood pins, very important......

-Ge Um-

[Cara]

Also add after getting to the track that you forgot the steering wheel for the race car. It didn't happen to me but it did to a friend of mine.

[Edm]

Thats a good one, never done it personally but I know a few who have.

[Benny The Mule]

I went to race one night in my typical shorts, t-shirt and sandals. I brought my fire suit, gloves and helmet but not my shoes. Not to be discouraged by this i raced in my sandals..................glad i got that wild hair and put a heat shield in the floor pan a few weeks earlier.


Rant #9 caught me in the middle of a caution riddled 100 lapper

[Todd McCreary]

Waitresses who relentlessly hit on Todd McCreary, only to find that he is holding out for a wealthy, mute, nymphomanic supermodel.


i've got it. i hear Elin Nordegren will be available in a couple of years. i just need to be sure that Tiger gets the clubs.

[Boneman]

Right on T-mac, as soon as Elin Nordegren starts waitressing at IHOP, then you may have a chance.

[Andy S]

Right on T-mac, as soon as Elin Nordegren starts waitressing at IHOP, then you may have a chance.

Given Tiger's apparent preferences, if she goes to work at IHOP he might start finding her attractive again. Unless he was just after that Perkins waitress for her access to pies...

[Bigbuck]

Boneman

Ha ha! Good one Ed, especially #5. I LOVE that fact that mini stocks get paid more than Sportsman! Hahaha!

A few more Boneman rants:

Phone calls from Tunaman; the only guy in the world who still calls collect.

Helping edm shovel the pieces of his car into the trailer....again.

When guys with the big haulers think they deserve two parking spaces, so they put their golf cart in one space while I get to park out in the weeds.

Racing crashes that involve your car and your friend's car.

Drinking some red wine and trying to read ronabneysr.

The way Tunaman keeps trying to get me to join Scientology.

Pushing your car in your pit area, and realizing that it is parked on your own foot.

Modern rulebooks that are still designed around vintage Monte Carlos and Chevelles.

Announcers who don't start the lineup until the field is 1/2 lap from green.

Waitresses who relentlessly hit on Todd McCreary, only to find that he is holding out for a wealthy, mute, nymphomanic supermodel.

You forgot one.
The way we all keep trying to get you to shut up!!!

[Boneman]

Nice try tuna. We both know that you would be so lost without my guidance and insight.

[Bigbuck]

guidance

Nice try tuna. We both know that you would be so lost without my guidance and insight.

yes Boneman, i will admit, your insight IS unusual

[Edm]

Heres another,

TRACKS NOT WORKING TOGETHER FOR SCHEDULING OR CROSS THE BOARD RULES CHANGES!

[flraceguy]

Heres another,

TRACKS NOT WORKING TOGETHER FOR SCHEDULING OR CROSS THE BOARD RULES CHANGES!

Now Ed... Why would scheduling things with common sense be normal.. Come now this is America.... The new Obama Socialist Country..