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  • Oxymorons

    Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
    Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
    If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
    If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
    Why do we say something is out of whack? What is whack?
    Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
    Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
    Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
    Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
    Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?
    Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
    Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
    Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
    Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
    Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds?
    16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
    If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
    If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
    Why is bra singular and panties plural?
    Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
    Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
    How come abbreviated is such a long word?
    Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
    Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
    Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
    Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
    I don't take anything written on the internet seriously, neither should you.

  • #2
    Because I am actually ahead of schedule at work and now board I will help you out with some of life's little difficult questions

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
    Yes
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
    Because the second hand is for minutes
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
    Google it
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
    Willis
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why do we say something is out of whack? What is whack?
    Look it up in the ebonics dictionary
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
    so it can confuse us

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
    I don't know

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
    They do both
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
    during the 7th inning everyone is so drunk that it doesnt matter
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?
    When its exciting who sits?
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why is it called "after dark" when it is really after light"?
    or before light?

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
    yes

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
    they are not

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
    once again, to confuse illegals

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds?
    same reason faux paintings is

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
    So you will do it better
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
    in heaven
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
    Not everyone is blinded.

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
    Why don't you ask Todd

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why is bra singular and panties plural?
    because "panty" doesnt sound sexy
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
    sometimes it works

    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
    Only pencil pushers do that
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    How come abbreviated is such a long word?
    Webster had a great sense of humor
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
    have you smelled a towel that has been used a few times
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
    Because once it mixes with oxygen it hardens
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
    I have a few of them
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
    why do you put candy in your socks?
    Originally posted by Hernando View Post
    Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
    because the sidewalks were already being used

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey Edm....

      you really, really have way too much spare time on your hands....
      Don't you have some doors to replace? Maybe a bumper or somethin'??

      -GYM-
      RIP Jack Smith and Kim Brown. Many thanks for all you have done for our sport.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Hernando
        If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

        Why don't you ask Todd



        ¿ʇɐɥʇ ʇɐǝdǝɹ noʎ p1noɔ
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        AC Automotive - mechanical issues
        1112 Old Dixie Highway, Bldg C-6
        ph: 772-569-6121 ask for Ray Cook

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        famous for my INtemperance on the INternet.

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