Tweet
The Dysfunctional Promoters Workshop hopes to see all of it's 2008 graduating class back for the summer session this fall.
You can expect to attend such seminars as:
"Just Give Me Your Money and Shut Up" sometimes aptly retitled as the "It's My F@%*#g Track and I'll Run It Into The Ground If I Want To" class.
Also included is our popular "50 Ways To Ignore and Sidestep Any Constructive Advice On Methods For Increasing Fan Appeal" better hurry as this class fills up fast!
Once again we're proud to be able to offer one of our all time favorite courses that is always a hit with the Florida bunch. This ones not for the faint of heart! It's the "Concession Stand Mathematics For Dummies" or as we like to call it, "Charge More/Sell Less: How To Starve Them Into Submission by Running 19 Classes (or more)"
Remember, we can't help you rape and plunder your diehard race fans and competitors if you don't attend these informational seminars.
Lately, here at the Institute, we have been hearing rumors about some tracks who are going against the accepted trend of running their show off the blood and sweat of their racers backs and actually ADVERTISING in their local papers and getting out to the area businesses and promoting the track itself. Some of these upstart "wannabe" promoters are even using ideas and suggestions generated and submitted by the racers and fans themselves!!
THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!
How can we (as a group) maintain the thin veil of illusion that we're not in any way at fault or responsible for our own fates if these renegade, loose cannon tracks won't fall in line and learn to sing from the same songbook of excuses as the rest of us. Solidarity is the key. We must never accept blame ourselves. This must be our mantra.
Anyways, we will be adding a new course this time around and I think it'll be a real sizzler. We'll be exploring new methods for glossing over the issues surrounding (one-week only) track tires and how to sidestep pesky questions about your profit and why you won't approve a longer lasting compound. The instructors will also cover ways to make a racer feel better about being bent over his trailer fender each Saturday in an effort to make sure he/she does not leave the premises with more cash than when they arrived.
A special guest instructor has been secured and while we can't advertise his name we will say he's an old school racer who has pretty much forgotten what it was like when he didn't have a pot to piss in but now has an owner who can afford to spend $50,000 to possibly win $1500 and whom we have paid a prince-ly sum to come and say nice things about you and your track. (for another prince-ly sum).
Make plans now to attend!!!
Registration: $20,000 (see? the lessons start here!)
Your friend,
Bryan Franz
You can expect to attend such seminars as:
"Just Give Me Your Money and Shut Up" sometimes aptly retitled as the "It's My F@%*#g Track and I'll Run It Into The Ground If I Want To" class.
Also included is our popular "50 Ways To Ignore and Sidestep Any Constructive Advice On Methods For Increasing Fan Appeal" better hurry as this class fills up fast!
Once again we're proud to be able to offer one of our all time favorite courses that is always a hit with the Florida bunch. This ones not for the faint of heart! It's the "Concession Stand Mathematics For Dummies" or as we like to call it, "Charge More/Sell Less: How To Starve Them Into Submission by Running 19 Classes (or more)"
Remember, we can't help you rape and plunder your diehard race fans and competitors if you don't attend these informational seminars.
Lately, here at the Institute, we have been hearing rumors about some tracks who are going against the accepted trend of running their show off the blood and sweat of their racers backs and actually ADVERTISING in their local papers and getting out to the area businesses and promoting the track itself. Some of these upstart "wannabe" promoters are even using ideas and suggestions generated and submitted by the racers and fans themselves!!
THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!
How can we (as a group) maintain the thin veil of illusion that we're not in any way at fault or responsible for our own fates if these renegade, loose cannon tracks won't fall in line and learn to sing from the same songbook of excuses as the rest of us. Solidarity is the key. We must never accept blame ourselves. This must be our mantra.
Anyways, we will be adding a new course this time around and I think it'll be a real sizzler. We'll be exploring new methods for glossing over the issues surrounding (one-week only) track tires and how to sidestep pesky questions about your profit and why you won't approve a longer lasting compound. The instructors will also cover ways to make a racer feel better about being bent over his trailer fender each Saturday in an effort to make sure he/she does not leave the premises with more cash than when they arrived.
A special guest instructor has been secured and while we can't advertise his name we will say he's an old school racer who has pretty much forgotten what it was like when he didn't have a pot to piss in but now has an owner who can afford to spend $50,000 to possibly win $1500 and whom we have paid a prince-ly sum to come and say nice things about you and your track. (for another prince-ly sum).
Make plans now to attend!!!
Registration: $20,000 (see? the lessons start here!)
Your friend,
Bryan Franz
Comment