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Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny . If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich .
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet
and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a 'slight' tax increase cost you $800.00,
and a 'substantial' tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and
people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your a$$ tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny . If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich .
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet
and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a 'slight' tax increase cost you $800.00,
and a 'substantial' tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and
people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your a$$ tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
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